Graduate school and dating

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They may be more oriented toward undergraduates, but they can often help you find the right sources of help. Otherwise, you could get a “reputation” around the department. Better advice: Do not treat graduate school as a dating pool in which you are a shark and everyone else is a tasty tuna.

Plus, I’m trying to figure out whether a writing MFA would be a good time investment for me, and talking to my boyfriend and his fellow students is giving me a lot of insight into how the program works. Obviously, grad students are using a lot of energy on their program instead of on their relationships. On the bright side, the busy-ness issues mean that my time-management skills are really getting polished.But advisers should also be aware of how they treat graduate students.Unfortunately, the stigma around mental illness means that many students don’t seek help. Seriously, when I first heard someone say that, I thought it was a joke. One guy said it was because there were a lot more women than men in his program. And a third fellow said it was because people work on similar projects and automatically have common interests.You have to believe that your relationship will last through the program, that your partner will see your efforts and be grateful, and that if there’s a time in the future where you’re less available to the relationship, your partner will step up to the plate instead of just leaving you. I think my relationship deserves it, and I think my boyfriend deserves it—he’s seen me through hard times, dealt well with the parts of me that other people would see as difficult, and just been so fun to be around that I want to keep anging out just to see what pun he makes next. We weren’t having relationship problems, but I was still afraid that his grad school would throw us a huge curveball sometime in the next five days, and I’d be hearing, “It’s not you, it’s me…” My boyfriend comforted me.He said that he knew that his program would only get more intense, but that he’d rather work hard to keep our relationship than jettison it for more study time—as long as I was willing to deal with the changes too. But going for an MFA is about more than poverty and being swamped with work (although at their busiest times, grad students might not agree! At its best, graduate school means having the support to delve into your passions—and when my boyfriend was able to delve into his academic passions, that brought a new sparkle to our relationship as well.

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