He shouldn’t make threats to abandon you in a foreign country.
He’s your dad, so he shouldn’t be cruel and awful to your mom.
It must have been hard to keep the peace with him all this time for the sake of co-parenting and I know you’ve bitten your tongue many times so that I could have the best possible relationship with him.
Right now I need a break from being pressured, hurt, and disappointed by Dad.
My mom says that what goes on between Dad and his Girlfriend is between the two of them and I shouldn’t let it affect my relationship with him.
She wants me to see him and we had this huge fight over months where I didn’t want him to come to my college graduation because my Dad and I were estranged at the time and she thought he should come for the sole reason that he was my dad.Walk yourself down the aisle, or have someone who is always nice to you do it, but don’t torment yourself for a photo-op or to meet other people’s expectations about what your family should be like.Traditions are there for you, you don’t exist to serve them at your own expense.) [/tangent] None of this means you have to do what she says, it just means recognizing, “Hey, my mom has a pattern when it comes to my dad and she’s just following the pattern I know well.” You know that this pattern is not for you going forward, and that knowledge is power.For example, your dad “should” be at your college graduation, her mental picture of that event is/was somehow incomplete without him.So she pressures you to help her complete that picture, to make allowances, to observe the form if not the content.I’m just really confused about how to handle this, because even if I discounted his treatment of Girlfriend, I still don’t like him that much.